How to survive moving in with your significant other

You’ve decided that your significant other is the love of your life so the next logical step is to move in with each other. Your relationship might be all hearts and flowers now, but it can be a totally different story when you take the plunge and share everything together, including your space.

The big move can harm even the closest of relationships, to give you a helping hand, and stop you from tearing each other’s hair out, we’ve compiled a small list of tips – you can thank us later.

Ground Rules
You’ve made the decision, you’re moving in together so now’s the time to set some ground rules. If you’re particular about anything in particular (KEEP THE TOILET SEAT DOWN!!) speak up now or forever hold your peace.

Housework
There are two of you now, and that means splitting the housework in half. Try to do your fair share to avoid the age old ‘I do everything around here’ argument.

Let’s Talk Money
BEFORE you move in together you need to discuss finances, how will the bills be split? Do you need a joint account?

Bathroom Etiquette
Aside from the odd communal shower, the bathroom should ALWAYS remain a private place! You don’t need to share EVERYTHING!

Get Out!
When you move in together it’s incredibly tempting to spend every night on the sofa, gazing into each other’s eyes, but it’s as important as ever to get out of the house – the more you live in each other’s pockets the quicker you’ll get sick of each other.

Grab Some Alone Time
Don’t forget about everyone else, you have other relationships that still need nurturing. Make sure you have some time to yourself too.

Make an Effort
It’s easy to get complacent when you move in together. Make sure you still show your partner how you feel about them; no one wants to feel unloved.

Are you moving in with your partner? Moving your possessions is an important part of the process; turn to uShip for help with courier and home removal services.

Is The Love Of My Life In My Future Or In My Past?

Oh dear – I do feel for these people who write in with their dating stories!

I am 56 years old and in the best shape of my life. You might find that hard to believe, but prior to last year, I was always working. Luckily, I was fortunate enough to run my own business and retire at a relatively young age. Younger than most, anyway. I now go to the gym four days per week, I go kayaking once per week, and I play in an Over 55 softball league, which is known as a senior league. I’m really into the softball league since softball has always been my passion. And now that it’s an even playing field, I’m really excelling again like I did in my 20s and 30s.

What I’m looking for is someone with similar interests. I would love to find a woman who is passionate about something active. It doesn’t need to be working out, kayaking, or softball. As long as it’s related to a healthy lifestyle, I would be interested. It’s also okay if she were married once before. If it’s twice before, I’ll have to pass, that’s too much drama for me.

Sounds like an easy request, doesn’t it? Yes, but it’s not as easy as it sounds. Based on my past experiences, all of the best women are still married. The men who are married to these women aren’t stupid. They know a good thing when they see it. However, I know there are a lot of other great women out there. And this doesn’t only pertain to staying healthy. I’m talking about women who have a good heart and are also caring and friendly.

It sounds like I want the world, doesn’t it? Of course I do, I’m human. And I’m 56! I might have plenty of time left, but it’s not like being 25 when you think you’re going to live forever. I want the best out of life. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. And as far as my past goes, I have never been married. I was engaged once in my early 20s, but I found out that my fiancée did some very bad things at her hen party.

Some guys might think this is okay, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to trust her and couldn’t live the rest of my life thinking about that. She was definitely the love of my life. On one hand, I think I should have talked her out of having that party. On the other hand, it was better to find out what she was like before we got married. Now I’m on the hunt for the next love of my life. I hope I can find her!

Getting Over Past Hurt

There is scarcely a person involved in a happy relationship who has not also known a painful one. This may be of little comfort to you if you are currently hurting, but it is still a fact. Relationships can be a one-way street, with only one party giving while the other takes. External factors or interference from others can bring an end as well. The most important thing is to get over past hurts so that you can move forward into a more satisfying relationship.

The first thing you should do is quit trying to affix blame. It really doesn’t matter whether your ex was selfish and self-centred. Your parents’ disapproval is irrelevant. Friends’ gossip is immaterial. Any of these could have some basis in fact, but now that the relationship is over, none of them count. Focusing on who was at fault is a roadblock to moving on. Accept what is without spending too much time on who did what. You need to look forward, not back.

Don’t blame yourself, either. Maybe you weren’t perfect in your treatment of your ex. No one ever is, and your flaws were likely insufficient to cause the break-up. Remember that a failed relationship does not make you a failure. You are worthy of love, and entering a new relationship with any other attitude is practically guaranteeing that it, too, will end.

Hold on to any good memories you might have. Obviously, there was something in the relationship that appealed to you. Don’t let pain or bitterness take away pleasant memories. This can prevent you from finding new, wonderful things to remember in the future.

Show yourself some kindness. While you don’t want to wallow in your misery, it is perfectly acceptable to pamper yourself when you are feeling low. Buy a book you’ve wanted to read but were too busy to do so. See the movie your ex refused to watch but you had eagerly anticipated. Have dinner at your favorite Chinese restaurant which your ex abhorred. In short, give yourself the treats that you had denied yourself in the interest of accommodating someone else.

Remember that the best way to get rid of pain is to fill your heart with so much joy and happiness that there is no room for hurt. This means that you cannot erect barriers between yourself and others. It does not mean that you should blindly and indiscriminately proceed with your life. There may have been issues with the past relationship, such as abuse or dishonesty, that you do not want to see repeated. Guard against such traits, but not against people. Otherwise, your soul mate may arrive on the scene to find the gates locked and the drawbridge raised.

Hurts heal, regardless of what you might think at the moment. Let go of the past, and greet the future with joy, excitement, and anticipation. Hold on to the happiness that awaits you, not the pain in the past.